30 Real Things Rednecks Actually Say

My first year of college was a bit of a culture shock after I packed my bags and moved from West Bloomfield, Michigan to the corner of southwest Missouri. I went from living in a bustling suburb of Detroit, to a laid back, agricultural community just an hour and a half from the border of Arkansas. But reality really hit me when I met a girl (now my best friend) who lived in my dorm freshman year.

I cringed the first time she said it. The harsh-sounding “y’all” was just so unfamiliar to me and the “fixin to” almost pushed me over the edge. But in her mind, it was the norm. Her family hailed from the Lone Star State, and although she was brought up in southwest Missouri, her parents brought that Texan slang with them.

A Harvard dialect survey revealed that pronunciation and word choices say a lot about where a person grew up or where they currently live. And if you sit down to talk with someone from a largely rural area, you might just hear some of these colorful phrases. So sit back and get ready to learn some redneck sayings that are “good enough to make you wanna smack yer granny.”

1. What a southerner says: “I ain’t seen him since he was knee-high to a grasshopper!”
   What they really mean: “I haven’t seen him since he was very young!”
2. What a southerner says: “Don’t go getting’ your knickers in a knot.”
   What they really mean: “There’s no need to get mad.”
3. What a southerner says: “I gotta hit the bushes.”
   What they really mean: “I need to use the restroom.”
4. What a southerner says: “If his brains were leather, he wouldn't’t have enough to saddle a June bug.”
   What they really mean: “He’s not very smart.”
5. What a southerner says: “That sign is all caddywhompus.”
   What they really mean: “That sign is all sideways.”

6. What a southerner says: “I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park!”
   What they really mean: “I’m so happy!”
7. What a southerner says: “Well, bless your heart …”
   What they really mean: “You’re really not very bright …”
8. What a southerner says: “That baby is cute as a sack full of puppies.”
   What they really mean: “That baby is adorable.”
9. What a southerner says: “After she lost the game, she was feeling lower than a doodle bug.”
   What they really mean: “After she lost the game, she was really depressed.”
10. What a southerner says: “He’s nuttier than a squirrel turd!”
    What they really mean: “He’s crazy!”

11. What a southerner says: “You ain’t got the sense God gave an ant.”
    What they really mean: “You don’t have any common sense.”
12. What a southerner says: “I’m more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”
    What they really mean: “I’m extremely nervous.”
13. What a southerner says: “You ain’t got no home trainin’.”
    What they really mean: “You don’t have any manners.”
14. What a southerner says: “It’s about two miles, as a crow flies.”
    What they really mean: “It’s about two miles across that field, but if you take the roads, it’s a bit farther.”
15. What a southerner says: “That’s the pot calling a kettle black.”
    What they really mean: “That person’s just being hypocritical.”

16. What a southerner says: “She’s so pretty she could make a hound dog smile.”
    What they really mean: “She’s really beautiful.”
17. What a southerner says: “Don’t put your cart before your horse.”
    What they really mean: “Don’t make plans before you know this is going to happen.”
18. What a southerner says: “I’m as busy as a one-legged cat in a sandbox!”
    What they really mean: “I’m so busy!”
19. What a southerner says: “I was as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.”
    What they really mean: “I was elated.”
20. What a southerner says: “That man is lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut.”
    What they really mean: “That man has no morals.”

21. What a southerner says: “I haven’t seen her in a coon’s age!”
    What they really mean: “I haven’t seen her in so long!”
22. What a southerner says: “She’s stuck up higher than a light pole.”
    What they really mean: “She’s extremely conceited.”
23. What a southerner says: “Boy, it’s hotter than blue blazes out here.”
    What they really mean: “Boy, it’s really hot out here.”
24. What a southerner says: “Who dressed her? We can see clear to the promised land!”
    What they really mean: “She’s very scantily clad.”
25. What a southerner says: “You took off runnin’ faster than a hot knife through butter.”
    What they really mean: “You took off running really fast.”

26. What a southerner says: “I couldn't’t jump over a nickel to save a dime.”
    What they really mean: “I’m so broke.”
27. What a southerner says: “That boy’s gonna tan your hide.”
    What they really mean: “That boy is going to beat you up.”
28. What a southerner says: “You’re talking with your tongue out of your shoe, aren’t you?”
    What they really mean: “You’re lying, aren’t you?”
29. What a southerner says: “That stinks to high heaven!”
    What they really mean: “That smells really bad!”
30. What a southerner says: “These sayings will have you grinning’ like a possum eatin’ a sweet tater.”
    What they really mean: “These sayings will make you smile.”

Have you heard of any other redneck sayings? Please share with us. We’d love to hear them!